// I write you read but don't expect much

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The night

Listening to 'Better in Time' over Love Songs @ Class 95 hauled me into a parallel that transcend the limits of thought. Memories. Whatever!

When we were young, we were afraid of the dark. We feared the
monsters & aliens creeping under our bed or hiding in the cupboard;
Believing that they would devour or abduct us the moment darkness sets in.
Today, we remain scared stiff of the dark. But for a totally different reason.
For now, the monsters & aliens have been replaced by desolation, unsaid regrets & dolar bygones.

On a lighter note, 'Procrastination' has been and is still a bigger bitch than I already am. I will be back (with a proper entry) soon, I promise! Till then ... yawns :) zZzzz

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 12:08 AM |

Monday, February 23, 2009

He's just not that into you

The rules. The exceptions. How true.

In all words of fairness, guys really be bastards when it comes to the matter of the heart.

Go catch this movie.

I give it 5 out of 5 stars, and i'll throw in a popcorn too :)

"Maybe the happy ending is just moving on"

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 12:09 AM |

Saturday, February 14, 2009

St. Valentine

To many, Valentine’s Day would primary be a day celebrated among friends (for the singles) or among the lovely-dovey (for the attached). As for me, this day holds more than that. For in lieu of the above mentioned, it is also the day that celebrates (???) the moment I set my dainty, sacred foot & batter gold dust (at each blink of the eye lids) on this sorry little blue planet.

# International Friendship Day

For a week, the world unites to commemorate each individual that entered our lives; and in one way or another, make it different & memorable amidst the process.

I know that I am not exactly the easiest person get along with, taking into consideration my erratic & foul temper, unreasonable personality, caustic tongue, change-as-fast-as-pendulum-bob mood … and the litany of flaws go on, yet you all never once judged me. Yet, I was magnanimously accepted for who I am.

So to all my friends - those who consider yourself as one - a big & sincere Thank You to all and I henceforth dedicate this meaningful albeit cliché & mushy verse to each and every single one of you!

True friends scold like a Dad,

Cares like a Mom!
Teases like a sister!
Irritates like a brother
And finally,
Loves you more than a lover

Friends; are like the relation between your two eyes. They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together and sleep together
Though they never see each other, friendship should be just like that - For life is hell without friends.

# Valentine’s Day for the Lo-man-tic Couples

All I can say is Valentine’s Day was here … and AC* stole it :(

# My burffdayyy

Truth be told, there wasn’t any hype this year. No enthusiasm. No anticipation. It was, to me, another day that ensued the previous. Nevertheless, I fervently thank all for the birthday wishes & blessing be it via smses, MSN, facebook etc.

Met Darlingg Cheryl & Whale How after Kumon. I am glad to have these two 'sistas' who have religiously celebrated my burfffday with me for the past years. 6 years and still going strong! Oh and thanks for the $150 Fred Parry voucher and card (Ra, you're included too)

And because I am happy albeit tired, I have allowed myself to blog using sub-standard English, like that of an ah beng. But who cares :)

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 12:23 AM |

Friday, February 13, 2009

I was delightedly gratified by the recent two events that happen.
Sometimes, the simplest & smallest thing can bring out the genuine joy from within. No need anything extravagant.

#1 The mystery card
That Wednesday was a particularly long Wednesday; Dreary course (in the morning/afternoon) followed by my secret '~~moonlighting~~ job at Kumon (in the night).
To make matter worst, the last bit of energy within was zapped out by the Inferno Affair that I was having with Mr Flu, Ms Cough & Mdm Fever. So imagine my surprise *gasp* when I saw this

(Area of Residence has been censored to prevent my legions of fans
from mobbing me. Also, note the term circled in Red *snigger*)

lying on my bed. (Yes, my father has a unique way of passing me my mails). And what subsequently revealed was well, saccharine sweet la!

So, thanks Sweetie! Your card and most importantly, thoughts, made my day =)

#2 Bryan remembers.
So whilst most normal people fervently count down at some god-knows-where-place to the last seconds on the eve of their birthday, there I was, slogging in Kumon, covering some random's absence (I bet she took leave to do some last minute damn control. Reads: Facial. Pui) when I saw Bryan. After a two years hiatus from Kumon, I was touched to know that Bryan actually remembered me. He referred to me as that cute (stop rolling your eyes!) teacher who relieved his music class one fine sunny day in this particular primary school; as that teacher who rewarded him with a candy (for his fine performance vis-a-vis other students); and as that teacher who told him to not 'expose' his relief teacher identity (to other students in Kumon). Everything, he remembered! Minus the face though. And I quote, " Ya i remember that time you blah blah blah .. but I could not remember your face" -_- '''
Oh and mind you, he was only a Primary One kid back then. And just like that, for the rest of the night, the sincerity & appreciation from a now 8-ish year old boy had me engulfed in warm fuzziness. What more can I ask for?

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 10:30 PM |

Retrospect #1, of K*

I have managed to clear most of the shits (refer to last few entries); so it's back to the 'busy-acting-busy' days. I hope. *fingers cross*

Anyway, as promised, I shall blog an entry, proper.

Non-sexual wife was lamenting about her 'speculative conclusions' ensuing her unintended nonchalance towards the current IT-muse (to which problem has been solved, since this is a back-dated post. In fact, I believe she's currently flirting with Mr. IT-muse as I type!) ,when the familiarity of the situation triggered memories of K*.

" The past is never truly behind us
Ghosts lurk in the shadows eager to remind us of the choices we made
But if we look back,
We might find an old friend with open arms
Or an old enemy with a hidden agenda
Or a grown-up son with a forgiving heart
Sadly, some of us refuse to look back
Never understanding that if we by denying the past,
We are condemn to repeat it."

(Desperate Housewives - Distant Past)

What started out as nonchalance, coupled with sheer fun actually turned out to be something special; like a glint on snow, though not for long. Sadly, truth be told, till today, I actually think of K*, compared vis-a-vis the rest, as someone still different from the usual (disgusting) bunch. And contrary to popular beliefs, there is no animosity from me to K*. Ceteris paribus, the same can't be said for K* to me. But if it consoles, at least such animosity was forced by circumstances, by the general stereotype arising from values, beliefs and what have you have that shapes the society & its accompanying actions and thoughts. I never thought that I would say this, but I have actually learnt so much from K*, albeit them being some what nugatory; like why one would often uncannily feel 'sleepy' & the reason behind it; the concept of how even best friends do not interact/communicate on a daily basis; how one who lacks the balls to say the truth would end up euphemism-ing his way out; how the cool-headed & patient ones emerge victorious; that compulsion, irrationality & speculating suspicious leads to one where to now where but his own doom; the art of making a person leave you at their own will (initiated by, well of cause, the intender's own subtle disregard) and so on and so forth.

Of cause, being the skeptical one, I always had my doubts as to whether K* was, at that point of time, caught up in a cross road, where K* 's voice of reason was debating with the voice of temptation. Nevertheless, I choose to overlook it (as I have the tendency to practice selective memory) and can only take it to my own strike. I don't and never once did blame K*. ~~I think.~~ Yes, it would not be up to snuff if I would to say that anger & obscurity never did once set it. And for what it is worth, the anger's gone. Sadly, not the obscurity. What the heck, I might say. Yet, deep down, we all know. =(

Like the 'gold stars' K* accumulated in exchange for 'sensuals', one should give credits when it is due. And K*, I must say deserve loads (of credits). Appearing at the most apt time, confounding me - in a good way - from the slump that I was in - Yay! Bringing me to that place of phantasmagoria, where carousels spin to the rhythm music, bringing instant gratification to all - Yay Yay! Of cause, there are more, like how fries can be a fun toy (stop laughing Cher!) and many more that I shall not document, at least not in such an open space. Bottom line, K* well-earned those gold stars. And I gladly give those gold stars :)

It's ok if no one understands what was just jotted. It's not meant to be anyway, so don't bother. After all, it merely is to serve as food for thoughts. And perhaps in a way, for me to not deny the past so that I would not be condemn to repeat it. I have learnt, and yes thank you (to a certain extent) K*, though you are not and will not read this.

Peace out!

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 1:30 AM |

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Opportunity Cost

Yet again, I have relented and given into my materialistic wants.
Instead of scrimping in lieu of the looming recession, I have well, gotten myself a new toy.
This;

*Bows head in shame*
Yea Yea, just shoot me! Oh and did I mention; Himbotic me got this phone only because well, it's white in colour, thus making it sooo beeee-uuuu-tii-foooo !!! Ok double shoot me.

On a related note, I recalled how Wong Mei Lin would rattle on (during Economics Lecture) about opportunity cost; "opportunity cost is the next best alternative forgone ..." In the same context, I guess the term 'opportunity cost' can be used as such;
a. The opportunity cost of getting a Crumpler - Hoax is a Burberry Polo Slim tee, or;

b. The opportunity cost of getting a Burberry Polo slim tee is a Crumpler - Hoax.

Yay! See Mei Lin, I did you proud right? Now the dilemma is, What should the opportunity cost be? You tell me!

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 11:34 PM |

Friday, February 6, 2009

Let's order pizza

At the end of the day, it's often the 'why', 'if', 'should have', 'would have' and 'what might have been' that brings us on a crazy roller-coaster hot toaster ride.

So to all these articles & conjunctions, what else can we say but the aptly 'Screw it!'

Let's order pizza =)

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 7:07 PM |

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Faces

Non-sexual wife was telling me about her 'accomplishment'. Halfway, I could not stop laughing when

cher. says:
got this disgusting guy keep wanting to pick me up
cher. says:
he got this very horny face i very scared
cher. says:
HAHAH
- ZmiNg™ - says:
AHAHAHAHA

Yay, so what's your face type? heh =)

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 7:51 PM |

Unsaid

The same old, same old things
Never seems to die off, doesn't it?

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 12:25 AM |

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Busy not Acting busy

For once, I am busy busy and not busy acting busy.
The amount of work that awaits my clearance is, in Babarella's word, 'Devastating'!
That's right.

And just so in case you're wondering who the living hell is Babarella, well watch on to find out.

On a separate note, Babarella's sister, CherCherella has yet again, left for greener pasture.

I had initially wanted to wish her Bon Voyage. But that word, amalgamated with 'procrastination', eventually turned out to be ..... Heh. Nvm. Perhaps I'll try again in six months time. This time I promise I aren't procrastinating; CherCherella, yah?

Oh, and I promise a decent entry of reasonable content when I've cleared all the shits.
Till then, Good night! or is it morning? hmmm ... =p

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 1:32 AM |

Monday, February 2, 2009

Use your heart

"What is essential is invisible to the eyes.

It is the time that you have wasted on your rose

that makes your rose so important"

- The Little Prince

the boy with a dead heart. posted at | 12:46 AM |